Childbirth Song



Uploaded by: heleneaustin
Video Description:
Parody written by Helen Austin and performed at Voices Three 2007, a concert that raised $3000 for Hospice.
I have had several requests for lyrics...so here they are and thanks to all for watching!!
Childbirth Song
You've bags under your eyes
You've got boobs to your knees
Your hand's full of poo and your bra's full of cheese
Your stomach is bloated your clothes do not fit
He still wants sex while you feel like shit
He begs for this favour not long after labour
It's like eating a meal after you've just been sick
And the boys at the office tell him I should give him what he wants
To this I say that they're a bunch of lalalalalalala
You bastard you cocked up it's you got me knocked up
Just cos you want me to have bigger tits
You're pleading, you're pining
Oh please stop your whining
You're not getting sex 'til the kid's 26
You say you want another child, another pregnancy
When you can poo a watermelon I'll agree
I could have been someone if you just hadn't come (along)
If I hadn't been so drunk and I'd said maybe
We'd be going out and stuff, now there's foreceps up my chuff
Pulling the head of a screaming 10lb baby
And the mums on Hornby Island* say keep breast feeding 'til they're four
If I do I won't have nipples anymore
And all the doctors told me that I'd need a stitch or ten
I say sew me up so I can't do this again.
*an island nearby with a reputation for being very wholesome!


Tags for this video: austin baby childbirth comedy funny guitar helen pregnant song

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Comments for this video on YouTube
4!!!...wow...2 is ... ( 3 weeks ago by heleneaustin)
4!!!...wow...2 is enough for me!
good luck! ( 3 weeks ago by heleneaustin)
good luck!
thanks and good ... ( 3 weeks ago by heleneaustin)
thanks and good luck...and thanks for registering to leave a comment...i really appreciate it!
well.. i have 3 ... ( 3 weeks ago by sarabjarnveig87)
well.. i have 3 sisters.. together they have 7 kids.. and the next youngest in the line has one.. and she is "just getting started" like she says.. hehe.. for me.. none.. and i tend to try to keep it that way for as looooong as possible..
Hi, Helen. I have 3 ... ( 3 weeks ago by FelicityGregg)
Hi, Helen. I have 3 - all grown up now with little ones of their own, but can I still remember! I have passed this video along to all my childless friends...and my daughter, who was thinking of having another. Thanks for putting into words what ALL mothers think!
he he he e ... ( 3 weeks ago by BeautySavesWorld)
he he he e e.funny! ;-)))
oh my goodness I ... ( 2 weeks ago by shellncraig07)
oh my goodness I LOVED this song, I only have one... and yes, I certainly DID tell them to sew me up! Thankyou for taking the horrors of childbirth and adding a hilarious spin onto it. I have sent this off to all my kiwi mum friends, Im sure they will indeed love it as much as I have.
superb song cheered ... ( 2 weeks ago by lisajames43)
superb song cheered me up no end 22 years since my last and I can remember every word of that x merry christmas helen you have just put a smile on my face
thanks...it came ... ( 1 week ago by heleneaustin)
thanks...it came from the heart!!!!;-)
thanks! ( 1 week ago by heleneaustin)
thanks!
it's insane what we ... ( 1 week ago by heleneaustin)
it's insane what we put ourselves through! ;-)
thanks...you never ... ( 1 week ago by heleneaustin)
thanks...you never forget do you!!
fucking hell im in ... ( 1 week ago by AnnaLovesDezz)
fucking hell im in tears of laughter hahahaha you have me creased :)
x
Array ( 1 week ago by stephshane1)
Very funny!
good.! :D
Hilarious! ( 1 week ago by maisiecakes101)
Hilarious!
lmao!! hilarious!! ( 1 week ago by somebodysangel99)
lmao!! hilarious!!
what a good song lol ( 4 days ago by carlrutter86)
what a good song lol
this song is so ... ( 2 days ago by welshvalleysgirl)
this song is so good! i don't have children but i can imagine what your on about! well done hun
absolutley ... ( 1 day ago by garyb654)
absolutley hilarious helen a very well written parody had me in tears.. stand up an take a bow...
thank you! ( 1 day ago by heleneaustin)
thank you!
thanks! ( 1 day ago by heleneaustin)
thanks!
thank you! ( 1 day ago by heleneaustin)
thank you!
thank you! ( 1 day ago by heleneaustin)
thank you!
thanks...I will! ( 1 day ago by heleneaustin)
thanks...I will!



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